Month: April 2025

Well, I am back. I am a survivor – if you let me tell it. I have endured another emotional rollercoaster AND I made it out on the lighter side. Those who know…know. And then I find myself reflecting back to that one doctor visit many years ago…

” Well, Mrs. Foster. The reason you feel so strange and have all of this ’emotional outburst’ is because you suffer from what are known as DUAL DISORDERS. This means that several of your neuroLOGICAL regions are not operating the way they are supposed to…”

Although I have never truly acknowledged it, I have moments where I am filled with thoughts and creative ideas and then there are those time when I don’t want any noise or mental stimulation happening. It happens. And sometimes it’s more frequent that I would like. But..

Here I am surviving the “mood disorders” and the “fear of the unknown”. And I am happy to say that my imbalance is still “imbalancing”. But today, you have the lighter side of how I am. naturally.

Is it just me? Or is it that most of human civilization has overlooked the general rules of the animal kingdom? The “common sense” of it all. A lot of weird and unusual things are occurring in personal relationships that should not be happening. But here we are in 2025, experiencing the most traumatic life changes within our democracy as a country. And then here we go with extra drama.

Just WHY??? Why would a normal person “relentlessly” (that means “nonstop”) pursue you after repetitive rejections? Yet, as you decide you will oblige them, suddenly they’ve fallen off of the face of the earth? nowhere to be found. I just don’t know how to feel about these types of situations. But I DO KNOW it’s not normal. It’s like they wanted you to say yes so they could say no. SMH

Every day struggles.

When I am anxious, I get angry because of the overflow of activity in my brain. Then, I find myself running to the Lord to help my soul find rest again. I don’t know why I am like this, making my every day a chaotic scene, going through the motions when my thought processes are happening.

It is very calming for me to have the outlet of writing. When I am here I able to place all of the thoughts on screen and view them from the outside in – if that makes more sense to anyone besides ME. The real struggle of trying to figure things out when the mind is jumping from one subject to another. Like…

Finally remembering the name of that song your friends were asking you if you knew the name of last week, in the middle of trying to remember what you were writing about before you started working on your bill collection at 3:30 AM. Or trying to separate the relevant information from your last class assignment in the 4th course of this semester while trying to remember if you were / were not supposed to leave the sign on the wall after you were finished talking in the group meeting.